Do you automatically turn your back on your partner when the lights go out because you’re not in the mood…again? Rather than letting intimacy fall lower and lower on your list of priorities, it’s important to get to the root of what’s causing the big dip in your libido.
Many women experience a low s*x drive, according to relationship experts. We talked to Dr. Fran Walfish, Psy.D, a relationship and intimacy expert and author of The Self-Aware Parent, as well as Dr. Gino Tutera, MD, FACOG,OB/GYN, to find out what some of the causes are and what you can do to reignite the spark in the bedroom.
1. Identify The Source
The first thing you need to do is rule out whether this is a medical or hormonal problem, recommends Dr. Walfish. Have a full exam with your OB/GYN, including a full-panel blood test to check your hormone levels.
Dr. Tutera, who specializes in menopause, specifically points to testosterone, the hormone that influences our s*x drive. “If your testosterone level is low, your desire to have s*x will be too.” If your blood test results reveal this, ask your doctor about the treatments available to you.
If your doctor can’t identify a medical explanation, then ask yourself whether you’ve always had a low libido or if there’s been a sudden or gradual onset, suggests Dr. Walfish. If your s*x drive was once generally higher than it is nowadays, the chances of getting your libido back up to that point are greater. Never having experienced a higher s*x drive is more unusual, but definitely NOT hopeless. No matter which category you fall under, you still have some digging to do.
2. Understand Your Past
Is your past flooded with negative messages about se*uality and/or pleasuring yourself?
It’s hard to distance yourself from the messages that surrounded your formative years, especially on a topic that many people have strong views on. What did your parents, teachers, or other role models tell you about s*x? Was it not talked about? Was it shameful? Was it natural? Try to understand how your upbringing influenced your perception of s*x. It could be having a more lasting impact on you than you think.
Dr. Walfish says she can tell a lot from her patients by their reactions to questions about their s*xual history (e.g. their bodies become tense or visibly uncomfortable when s*x is being discussed). “Some women don’t know that they’re allowed to (and supposed to) enjoy s*x just as much as their partner does,” says Dr. Walfish. If this is the case, talking to a therapist can help you feel more comfortable with your body and s*xual activity.
3. Determine If Stress Is A Factor
Dr. Tutera contends that the primary cause for low libido in young women, assuming a hormonal reason has been ruled out, is stress. It makes sense; no one is going to have dirty thoughts running through their mind if there’s no room
If you think this might be the cause of your low s*x drive, try addressing the stress issue first and separately. As you start de-stressing methods that work for you, see how your s*xual desires change.
“The bottom line is that everyone has a right to personal happiness and s*xual pleasure,” says Dr. Walfish. When it comes to experiencing low libido, she emphasizes that you’re not alone so have no shame.
Dr. Tutera echoes Walfish’s sentiments: “Women should never be embarrassed or scared of their low s*x drive.” Be proactive in bettering your s*x life by talking to your doctors.
by Greenstarnetwork admin..