exciting when you fall in love and start a new relationship! New
relationships are about hope, some expectations and fresh feelings. But
sometimes a new relationship collapses when they hardly starts. I’ve
been thinking about all my relationships, both successful and not so
successful, and I’ve come to the conclusion that a good start determines
the further outcome of your relationship. When you just start dating
someone it’s very easy to make mistakes and scary the person away. Sure,
every relationship is highly individual and unique, but here some
universal tips to remember when you start a new relationship.
1. Don’t pursue your boyfriend
I always found it difficult. When I fall in love with someone I want to
spend every second with this person to get to know him better. I become
literally obsessed with the guy and it’s often the main cause of all my
unsuccessful relationships. Such an excessive attention is the sure way
to frighten the person off. Try to avoid calling him every hour or
typing romantic messages if you’ve just started dating. Guys love when a
girl can take the first step, but they cannot stand when the girl is
persistent or even annoying. On the other hand, try not to hold him
back. Avoid these two extremes and find the golden mean in your
communication.
2. Don’t pretend to be someone else
When you like someone it’s natural that you want reciprocity. You want
to gain the person’s approval and try hard to correspond to his
expectations and preferences. However, you cannot make a different
version of yourself. Sooner or later you’ll get tired to play this game
and when he gets to know your true self, it’ll break your partner’s
heart. When you pretend to be someone else, your guy cannot appreciate
your real personality. If you know that your guy loves blue-eyed
blondes, but you have beautiful brown tresses, you shouldn’t even think
to dye your hair color! Try to be honest and open from the very
beginning.
3. Your new boyfriend isn’t your previous one
Never ever try to compare your current boyfriend with your previous
ones. Moreover, you should never discuss your previous relationships
with your guy. It’s the easiest way to make him suspicious and jealous
about all your male friends, which will surely lead to a breakdown. This
rule works both ways. While you should keep silent about your previous
guys, try not to ask him about his girlfriends as well. You don’t really
need to know the person’s past to get to know him better. While dating
him you’ll have plenty of opportunities to see everything with your own
eyes.
4. Avoid being too fast
You’ve just started dating, but you’re already imagining your wedding
and a happy family with 3 kids and a dog. Wait for a second, aren’t you
too fast? Don’t cherish illusions as for your common future; everything
is very uncertain at the beginning of your relationship and you still
need a lot of time to explore each other. If you hint that you have some
plans as for your future, be sure your relationship won’t go too far.
I’ve noticed that most of my successful relationships occurred when I
thought I had no chances with the guy. Remember that your relationship
should develop its natural way. Your boyfriend shouldn’t tell you ‘I
love you’ on the third date.
5. Don’t be the center of attention
When you want to impress your new boyfriend, you can go too far boasting
about your personality, interests, hobbies or whatever else. However,
you can get too tiresome and boring. Instead, try to talk about his
personality. Take an interest in his work, hobbies, family and past.
When he’s talking about something, be a careful and active listener.
Guys will never tell you that, but they like to be complimented!
Compliments will raise his self-esteem and dignity. Say some kind words
about his achievements or personal qualities.
6. Don’t gather information
If you have common friends, don’t try to question them about your
boyfriend. This is of crucial importance when it comes to his previous
girls and relationships. If your guy finds out that (be sure he’ll find
out), you will have a great difficulty trying to explain the situation
to him. You shouldn’t rely on his social accounts either. What the
person pretends to be online and what the person actually is are two
totally different things. The best way to understand your partner is
communication and spending time together.
7. Don’t be a perfectionist
Many relationships fail simply because you expect too much from the
person. Several years ago I composed the list of features I expected
from my potential boyfriend. There were nearly fifteen traits of
character, if I’m not mistaken. No wonder all my relationships collapsed
very soon since I was too high-maintenance and any man could hardly
satisfy my needs. However, I’ve realized that I’m not ideal either, so
it’s rather dishonest to expect perfection from someone else. Both of
you are human beings and it’s natural that you have some shortcomings
and imperfections.
A new relationship always gives you a chance to start everything anew.
Even though the outcome of your relationship depends on many factors,
you can still do a lot to make a good start. Follow the aforementioned
tips if you want to start a successful relationship and get married.
What are some lessons you’ve learned from your past relationships?
by Greenstarnetwork admin..
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